They say you can tell a lot about a person by your playlist. Or your shoes. Or how you treat others. How you play tennis. Or poker. Or handle tangled up Christmas lights.
How we do anything is how we do everything. Certain patterns show up again and again.
That’s why it’s often good to have someone giving you feedback, whether that’s a friend, a coach or support group. You know what it’s like, people can often see what the issue is but we can’t see it ourselves. So when it gets pointed out to us, this is information we can choose to act upon – or not.
Recently, I was giving my “How do you think big?” speech at my Toastmasters club. Mike, the president, pointed out that I wasn’t using my whole range when using arm gestures. He felt I was limiting myself. When I reflected upon, I realized it was true. I could have reached up further instead of just grab in front of my face.
It made me think, where else in my life am I not using my full capacity. It’s made me conscious of it. As we speak, I’m doing some big wide movements, reaching as far as I can to remind myself not to limit myself unnecessarily.
Pick something, anything, how you do a sport, wash up, speak to your clients and notice how you do it because how you do anything is how you do everything.
A very closely related question to notice is:
Where do I not allow myself to take up time and space?
On stage, in an airplane seat, standing in line, in a party conversation, the way I sit “like a lady”, around someone who feels more powerful or esteemed, when I’m nervous or need to make a request?
Women have been trained to not to take up space. We suck in our gut at yoga classes and are more horrified to gain weight than men.
Personally powerful people are at ease when fully and comfortably taking up time and space in a relaxed, healthy, affirming manner and equally respect others’ time and space.