“I don’t want to be 9”
On his 9th birthday, Lucas confided in me, “I don’t want to be 9.” It caught me off guard – I always believed kids wanted to be older. I reassured him and said, “It’s okay, you can be 8 for today.”
Then, he expressed something else, “I don’t want to be a man,” sparking further surprise. I gently reminded him that he’s still a child and there’s plenty of time before he’s an adult.
Discussing this with my husband, he noted that many autistic children share this fear of aging – something new to me but mentioned by Chloé Hayden in “Different, Not Less”. She attributed this to the fear of change and the unknown, a sentiment she personally could relate to.
Last World Book Day, Lucas dressed as Peter Pan for his school’s Disney theme—a character who embodies the spirit of perpetual childhood. It was an unintended but fitting choice, reflecting Lucas’s current feelings about growing up.
These moments remind me that wishing to remain a child is a universal feeling, not confined to autism. Next time Lucas voices his hesitation to grow up, I’ll reassure him that he can be a child for as long as he wants.
What unexpected things have your children said that caught you by surprise?
Please share, I’d love to hear about them.
You are not alone
I share my personal stories—some sad, some funny, some out of frustration —to connect with other families on the spectrum. When we received our autism diagnosis, I felt alone. Conversations with other families helped me realize that wasn’t true, we’re not alone.
Know someone navigating family life on the spectrum? Please share this story with them. And if you’re a family on the spectrum looking for support, consider downloading my free PDF, “5 Simple Ways to Reduce Your Family on the Spectrum’s Anxiety”.